Monthly Archives June 2011

I was going to go to work today until I heard on the radio that it would take at least an hour just to get on the DART rail trains due to the Mavericks parade so I called work and said I wasn’t going to be in
This left me with an entire day to myself
I hit craigslist and scanned the employment section, sent out my resume to some likely candidates and then turned my attention to getting something accomplished
Then the familiar blockage set in

People familiar with my blogs have read my accounts of my difficulties in creating lately
There are a couple of well meaning friends who have told me “Quit whining and just do it” which is about the equivalent of “Walk it off” from a gym coach
They mean well, but I am not sure they realize the depths in which this problem reaches
To make matters worse,...

I had an informal audition for a band yesterday
It is not real clear yet if I am in but things went well
I have a week to work on the material and feel optimistic
It is very pop so I don’t have to concentrate too much on technique
It seems my biggest challenge is going to be to restrain myself from overplaying
Maybe I will take a few passes around the material for a few hours before I go to my mom’s house
They’ve got a giant TV and it willl be fun to watch the Mav’s game
It will be a fun time with the family on a nice Sunday

William called me up to see how I was doing and to ask me if I was OK
I said I was just fine and he explained that the latest Rockula update was causing some people concern
When I asked why, he explained that it sounds like I am at rock bottom and that I am considering hurting myself or ending my life
After I established that I don’t intend to do either of those things, we discussed why people reacted the way they did to the post
The main point that I want to make about the tone of that blog is that I do truly feel the way it came across
My life does truly feel very dismal at the moment but I never expected people to react the way they did but it doesn’t surprise me that it got the attention it did
I explained to him about my lack of creative energy at the moment and that the only inspired...

It’s been 2 months since the move back to Dallas and the ordeal dealt a serious blow to my momentum
Having my car self destruct not only caused me great distress but also has put me in credit card debt and severely hampered my ability to get a job
I am still $2000 in debt to my father for a car that now resides in a junkyard in Mason City Iowa
I managed to get $150 for it and sold some equipment but that only cut my CC debt in half

Living in Dallas is no different than Minneapolis because I brought all of my emotional and mental deficiancies with me
I still feel empty and devoid of any hope for my future
Although I have gotten a good portion of my drumming strength and endurance back, I still cannot manage to create anything new
Any and all attempts to write new music, lyrics or even edit ...