acceptance goes both ways

I am more than willing to write many paragraphs chronicling my acceptance of my flaws and failures but I also need to have the same acceptance when people show their admiration and friendship
Although we all know it is shallow on the surface to count the number of people who wished me a happy birthday on Facebook today but it was also a chance to excercise my positive acceptance muscles
Not only that, but to enjoy the positive energy being sent to me

Looking back, many of my recent years have been spent with such an overriding hostility that I couldn’t get over my general mistrust of people enough to feel secure when someone paid me a compliment or showed admiration of something I did
My answer was usually either self depracating or arrogant

I have decided that it is neccessary to accept when someone compliments you because you have to allow other people to define you or your art on their terms
You’re not the one who is potentially going to book you or buy your shirt or watch your show
They are
And you cannot control how people take you and what you do
You can only control what you give them

Today has shown me that I have a lot of acquaintences that like me and some friends that love me
I have to do my best to justify their opinion of me but I can’t go screwing things up by trying to force people to think a certain way
If I can just do the things that make me a good person then I will be just fine
Of course, I am gonna screw it up a lot
But
I’m charming and can usually smooth it over