Personal outdated sensibilities

A vast majority of my musical identity has been formed around a very central concept
All of my energy went into making my personal musical ambition come true
Although I had made certain that no one was going to make me compromise my vision
This would lead me to quit every “band” I have ever been in
But I stuck it out and hoped that I could find someone who would share my vision and yet be equal in ability
It was a condensed version of the standard rock n’ roll fairytale which was the “us against the world” mentality

All the while, there was an example being set right in front of me that I refused to acknowledge

After leaving my last band in 04, I was determined to find a new way of approaching my music and came up with the PyroPlasticFlow concept which evolved from a duo to a solo project simply because the other half of the duo didn’t work out
But that didn’t change my attitude about an unwavering focus upon my personal goal
My music (and now video) have been the only thing that mattered in my life and yet, I was completely stuck in one place as fas as appealing to anyone but myself
The thought of playing any other kind of music but my own was distasteful and I felt it a waste of my time
Even though I had the ability to play virtually any kind of music, I didn’t want to play ANY of it
Especially if I didn’t come up with it

It is only in the last year or so that I have truly been made aware of the lasting effects of this narrowminded-ness on my musical career
My steadfast adhearence to my quest for being original has given me an understanding of the most unusual and different conceptual music
I am light years ahead of the average person when it comes to depth of musical knowledge and experience
And yet
Clearly, no one gives a fuck

So now I have another chance and a new opportunity
Living at this rehearsal space will give me the utmost freedom to explore any kind of music I like
It’s time to start shedding some old sensibilities so that I can finally follow the example that has been set in front of me by the single most important musician in my musical development
Although I have studied everything from his music to his personal philosophy, I never bothered to step back and see the larger example
Obviously, that example is Frank Zappa (and to a lesser extent, Buckethead)
Yes, they had solid band lineups and then became solo artists afterwards but the message that I have been missing is that they and i had a rare quality that we all shared and that was the ability to adapt to multiple musical environments

So that’s what I intend to do

No more trolling for people to play in my band
Now is the time to play with as many people as I find interesting and not to put such a heavy pretext to it like “will you join my band”
I might as well work with a ton of people and just release everything I do (well, the stuff that doesn’t suck)
There’s not an issue of a physical place to play or eqpment restrictions (more than I need really) or even technology out of my reach (there’s plenty of room on a hard drive for hundreds of hours of recordings)
The only thing that keeps me from creating a rich and diverse body of work is my own stubborn refusal to embrace music because my personal ambitions have not amounted to my own grandiose expectations

I don’t thing the musical world is feeling the proper amount of regret fro having ignored me, so I might as well pull that stick out of my ass and go play with the other kids

So, here are a couple of sensibilities that I have held onto for way too long
– Being so obsessed with being original that I automatically write off anything that I don’t deem “progressive minded” (i.e. anything popular that has spawned a million sub-par clone bands)
– Playing music that would be fun instead of requiring that it be important
-Quit being so bitter and resentful at other people for the time I myself have wasted trying to convince them of how great I am and showing them (even if it is not on my own terms)