I don’t understand banking but I understand when you’re trying to influence my decision

This is not a rant against banks, it is more of a recognition of someone trying not too hard to disguise an upsale

I recognized the $5 a month charge a few months ago and figured I had no choice
Today, I went to the bank to deposit some cash
The teller pointed out the $5 charge and explained that I had an old account and didn’t qualify for the free checking anymore

I replied that I expected to get charged eventually and that I wasn’t complaining
I use a national chain because I can count on their ATM being pretty much around any corner no matter what city or state I am in

The teller asked me if I wanted to talk to the bank manager to see about removing the fee
I was a bit aprehensive because a bank was voluntarily offering to remove a monthly fee
For a second, I even allowed the idea to enter my head that the bank was expressing their gratitude for being such a loyal customer

I was told that I could avoid the $5 a month charge if I upgraded my account with a savings account
He then proceeded to write some confusing terms on a post-it note
When I asked him if he had any actual literature, he handed me his card and said I could call him any time I wanted it explained again
I told him that I was not good at understanding money and that I would have my stepfather help me to understand (because he’s an accountant)
He told me that I could always call him with any questions again without addressing the literature

I got up and thanked him for his time and told him  I was opting to go with the $5 a month checking account  (and was polite about it)
I also told him that I understood he was trying to get me to commit to an account with a minimum balance and a savings account
“I don’t mind payin $5 a month for a check cashing service, and it’s much better than using a liquor store” I told him
He looked a bit unflattered at hearing the comparison

I realize that this is a sales technique and the banks aren’t “out to get ME” 
However, it was a damned sloppy attempt at an upsale and I guess I was just a bit embarrased by  his clumsy attempt

It must suck to be a low level bank manager
You know his boss is leaning on him hard
When you have to spend your time and effort trying to influence someone who puts as little as I do in the bank then you are SCRAPING for business