This whole time leading up to the GZ performance on Friday has been very exciting
My way of coping with the negative anxiety was to work as much as I could on every detail of the performance
Although I have redundancy-ed the crap out of the show, I still have recurring anxieties about potential monkey wrenches
The first one is my computer
My Zune player just malfunctioned and I have surmised that it is the hard drive
I bought both the Zune and the laptop at the same time so…. 2+2=????
Having seen tons of bands and filmmakers tear their hair out while the audience waits for their computer to re-boot, I am plenty scared that this is going to happen to me
The other thing that scares me is that I will get confused and forget something in my programming
There are several moments when I am using multiple programs on my computer
The virtual DJ program has 2 layers to it as well (video and audio)
The worst thing I could do is wonder why a track isn’t playing when I forgot to raise the audio level 3 layers down
All I can do is keep at my rehearsals and make notes to tape onto the computer to remind me of the small things I might forget in each song
Lastly, all I have to do is think of the positive impact this gig will have on my life if it goes right
I have already let myself believe that some failiure is acceptable as the learning process
However, the spectre of a complete onstage meltdown hovers over my shoulder
And this will be no tiny gig at Underground in front of 10 people
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