chicken happy

One of the things I have made an effort to aknowlege is the moment when I stop and realize that I am getting what I want
It is a rare moment where I get a huge smile on my face and bliss out

These are the moments that remind me that my everyday existance is influenced by the mis-trust and hostility I have built up over my recent years
These are moments that tell me it is worth continuing to try hard
Mostly because you never seemed to feel those moments until you started
If I can’t allow myself to enjoy what I am doing with my life then why bother?

There has been a noticable amount of time where I just wasn’t interested in doing anything
Those moments are when I still believe enough in the concept to keep it alive but have no drive to actually make it happen
Those are also the majority of moments in my life
My growing apathy towards the outside world seeped into my own life and hardened my creative guts
I still developed ideas like crazy but it was futile in that I refused to promote any of them
Other than talking shit to someone who wants to know “what I do” I pretty much didn’t do anything

Today was the first time I ever cooked a chicken in the oven
Normally, I just go buy something breaded and between 2 buns
The smell coming from the oven is incredible
Even though I did nothing more than rub butter and salt/pepper it, I stopped and blissed out

Looks like the timing couldn’t be better
I am done writing this just as the timer is going off on the oven